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To Expat or Not?
One of the biggest difficulties you are confronted with when living and working abroad is developing a social circle. As a schoolteacher, you have plenty of daily social interaction, but of course evenings and weekends are a different story altogether. High-minded and lofty idealist that I am, I had decided not to seek out the local expatriate circles here in Dakar, arguing that if I just wanted to spend my time with US citizens, I could just as easily have stayed at home.
But take it from me: no matter how seasoned a traveler you may be, there is something inherently wonderful in interacting with someone who knows your culture intimately, who can laugh with you at a random reference to an Entenmann’s crumb cake or a Brady Bunch episode, who can enjoy the subtleties of your native tongue or appreciate a play on words.
On the advice of a good friend in Germany who was slowly becoming frustrated with my unending tales of loneliness and isolation, I decided it was senseless to make myself a slave to principle any longer, and that I ought to give socializing with the expats a whirl.
I now find myself with more activities on my calendar than I have time for. So far my favorite is the Downtown Restaurant Association Group, aka DRAG. Its founder is (needless to say) referred to as the Drag Queen, and I have to admit enjoying the quirky American wit that makes this affectionate moniker possible. Since so many of us are here on our own, there is a nice sense of communion in sharing meals together, and so far we have enjoyed excellent Lebanese and Korean food right here in Dakar. Americans love acronyms, especially Americans in government or military circles, so on occasion I am also alerted to further activities via an electronic newsletter sent by the CLO, or Cultural Liaison Officer. It is rather a shame that so few Senegalese take part in these activities, but what is an inexpensive dinner for most expats is often prohibitive for the Senegalese; this leads to a segregation of sorts between the two worlds, reminiscent of my time in Montreal, where I was surprised to find the Anglophones living in certain areas and the Francophones elsewhere, with astonishingly little interaction between them. Further, I suspect that the Senegalese are quite happy to go home to their families at the end of the day. The solo expats do not have this option and tend to be in a limited contract situation, of one year or two or five, and are desperate to find nice people in a similar situation to enjoy social activities with, without necessarily looking for more profound friendships/relationships.
I hasten to add that I do socialize with some Senegalese; in fact, towards the end of Ramadan, I often enjoyed the sunset breaking of the fast with dates and coffee followed by the large communal bowl of the national dish of rice with fish and vegetables, thieboudieune, see photo.
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| What? There’s a spoon in your food! |
Eating with my hands as the locals do, I am even able to form balls after a fashion (using only the right hand, as the left is “reserved for other uses” ) and to guide them into my mouth without making too much of a mess. However, such socializing is not easy given barriers in language and culture, a culture in which many women are at home tending to their families and many men are unable to conceive of any relationship with a woman other than a romantic one. There are a number of ways for the most well-intentioned people to misunderstand one another, which also makes it easier on some level to gravitate to those with whom you share a common background. I say this with some wistfulness, because it would be so nice if the two worlds I am straddling at present could be joined – there is so much that each could learn from the other.
But until that happens, I am thankful to be able to enjoy the lessons to be learned in both!
Copyright © 2010 Tamara Braunstein
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